Wedding Rituals

In this wedding ritual, the officiant tells the bride and groom to look into each other's eyes holding hands palms up. Lovely blessings are said over clasped hands; then, the couple pledge their unconditional love and commitment today, tomorrow and forever.

In this wedding ritual, the bride and groom taste four flavors that represent different emotions within a relationship such as : sour(lemon), bitter(vinegar), hot(cayenne), and sweet(honey). By tasting each of the flavors, they demonstrate that they will survive the hard times in life together.

This wedding ritual is a lesser-known tradition that also dates back to the slavery era, African-American bride and groom demonstrated their commitment by crossing tall wooden sticks. The couple expresses a wish for a strong and grounded beginning by crossing the sticks on the belief that it represents the power and life force within trees. Should you decide to incorporate this tradition, you have to choose large branches from both of your families' homes or from a place meaningful to you as a couple.

Crushing a wineglass under the groom's foot at the end of the ceremony is a Jewish tradition with many meanings. It's a symbol of the destruction of the First Temple in Jerusalem; a representation of the fragility of relationships; and a reminder that marriage changes the lives of individuals forever. Or, interpret it this way: Drinking the wine represents the joys and sweetness of life, and crushing the glass represents the hardships.

The money dance is a very old custom that originally served as a measure of a family's status within a community; but today it is practiced as a way of giving the happy couple a prosperous start. This is prevalent among Polish and Italian couples, although many other brides and grooms often incorporate it.

Once the music starts playing, family members or designated people start off the dance by placing money crowns, sashes or leis on the bride and groom.

Then, they approach either the bride or groom and, using adhesive tape, place any number of bills that you wish onto the happy couple's clothing. Pins were traditionally used to attach the money, but many brides prefer that their gown not be pinned. The dance can continue for as long as the couple wants or until guests stop approaching the couple.

In Roman times,a thin white cake representing bounty was crumbled over the bride's head to promote fertility. This is already a thing of the past. It is now traditional for the bride and groom to feed each other a piece of cake. Feeding one another cake is a symbol of willingness to share a life and household together.

If we had been in the early Roman times, the wedding cake would not be one huge, tasty, decorative creation, but many small, cupcake-sized, salty wheat cakes. The guests wouldn't be eating the cakes but throwing them at the bride or crumbling it over her head for fertility.

In the olden times when children didn't make it to adulthood due to childhood illnesses, fertility was important, and that is probably the reason the why wedding cake tradition was born. During the later part of the Roman empire, the Romans turned their salty cakes into sweet cakes. This time, they made a slightly larger bridal cake with many smaller cakes surrounding it. The smaller cakes were brought as gifts by the guests. These cakes everyone ate, but still crumbled some of those over the bride.

After the Roman conquest of the British Isles, Roman customs influenced the natives who baked dry cakes for their weddings and drank their ale with them. In old England and Ireland, there also was, and still up to now, the custom of a groom's cake, dark in color and made from dried fruit.

The English exported their customs when they sent their pioneers into the new world. The First European settlers in the Americas made fruitcakes for their weddings because their preservation was easier. Through the initiative of the French, the fancy wedding cake with several tiers was created.

Although scorned by the English at first, it was later adopted and became the norm throughout Europe. The wedding cake, owing to its long history, became an individual affair for a modern wedding party, with different shapes and styles and with a rich variety of flavors, fillings, and icings.

In our modern day, a wedding cake, after the vows, has become a vital part of wedding ceremony. It is assumed that a wedding cake reflects the style, elegance, and delicacy of the couple's upbringing, in addition to their enthusiasm for their marriage.

Not only the ingredients and the making of the cake, but the ceremony of its cutting has become another reception by itself. Traditionally, the bride and the groom cut the cake together, with groom placing his right hand over the bride's right hand to cut the first slice. Then, they feed each other that first slice while everyone applauds.

Nowadays, in some new world weddings smearing each other with the icing has been taking hold as a custom, adding hilarity to the reception.

Marriage in African culture is considered the official joining of two families. A large emphasis is placed on getting family permissions and blessings before the wedding. In Ghana, the groom requests permission through the custom of "knocking on the door ." Bearing gifts, he visits his potential in-laws accompanied by his own family. If his "knock" is accepted, the families celebrate and wedding planning begins. Or in some cases, simply plan an outing (such as dinner date) to bring both families together before the wedding and begin forming family bonds.

This wedding tradition most likely originated with an African ritual. An African tribal ritual had couples placing sticks on the ground to symbolize their home together. It may also symbolize the sweeping away of evil spirits. This may be the origin of broom jumping. During slave days, African-Americans were forbidden to marry and live together, so jumping over a broom was a formal and public declaration of the couple's commitment. The couple holds the broom together and sweeps in a circle while the officiant or families elder talk about the significance of the ritual. Then the broom is placed on the floor and the couple joins hands. Everyone counts to three-then they jump. Today, it has become very popular for African-American couples to follow suit at the conclusion of their wedding ceremony. The beautifully decorated handmade broom can be displayed in the couple's home after the wedding.

Many African-American couples incorporate a libation ceremony into their weddings as a way to honor their African ancestors. Holy water, or alcohol, is poured onto the ground in each of the cardinal directions as prayers are recited to the ancestral spirits, and names of those that have recently passed are called out. The libation ceremony can also be used as an opportunity to honor the elders in a family, asking them to pass on their wisdom and guidance.

In some African tribes, the bride and groom have their wrists tied together with cloth or braided grass to represent their marriage. To symbolize your own unity, you may have your officiant or a close friend tie your wrists together with a piece of kente cloth or a strand of cowrie shells,which symbolize fertility and prosperity, while affirming your commitment.

This is a ritual adapted from a Yoruba tradition. The bride and groom taste four flavors that represent different emotions within a relationship. The four flavors used are sour (lemon), bitter (vinegar), hot (cayenne), and sweet (honey). By tasting each of the flavors, the couple symbolically demonstrates that they will be able to get through the hard times in life, thus enjoy the sweetness of marriage.

Kola nuts play an important role in African Wedding. The nut, which is used for medicinal purposes in Africa, represents the couple's as well as their families' willingness to always help heal each other. In Nigeria, the ceremony is not complete until a kola nut is shared between the couple and their parents. Among African Muslims the nut is also a symbol of fertility, and is exchanged with family members during the engagement celebration. Many African-American couples incorporate the sharing of a kola nut into their ceremonies. They afterwards keep the nut in their home as a reminder to always work at healing any problems they encounter.

Joyce Gioia, a multifaith clergywoman created this ritual revolving around honey, a symbolic food since ancient times and crossing many cultures. "Honey is a symbol of the sweetness in life. And so, with this dish of honey, we proclaim this day as a day of great joy and celebration, a day to remember --Your Day. We thank you, Allah [or substitute deity name], for creating this divine substance, and ask you to bless it, even as you will bless this holy union. Amen." [Groom dips his little finger into the honey and touches bride's tongue with it; bride does the same, touching groom's tongue.] "As together you now share this honey, so may you, under God's guidance, in perfect love and devotion to each other, share your lives together, and thereby may you find life's joys doubly gladdening, its bitterness sweetened, and all things hallowed by time, companionship and love."

The words of this Wiccan candle ceremony focus on the couple's union in marriage. However, this candle ceremony focuses less on two families uniting (as a unity candle ceremony does) than on two individuals coming together, yet remaining independent. Interfaith or nondenominational couples could certainly include it in their ceremony.

After the wedding feast, the ritual of Mala Badol is performed in Bangladesh and other South Asian countries. A thin cloth is placed over both the bride and the groom. They feed each other and share sips of borhani, which is a spicy yogurt drink, beneath the cloth. While looking at their reflection in a mirror, the bride and groom are asked,

"What do you see?"

They each answer with a romantic declaration, such as, "I see the rest of my life."The couple then exchanges garlands of flowers. A new custom of exchanging rings has been added to the ritual recently.

The bride offers dates and chestnuts (which are symbols of children) to the groom's parents while sitting at a low table covered with other symbolic offerings. The parents offer sake in return, and as a final gesture they throw the dates and chestnuts at the bride, who tries to catch them in her large wedding skirt. Although this ritual traditionally takes place a few days after the wedding, in the United States the p'ye-baek is often held right before the reception, with the bride and groom in full Korean costume. Family members may also offer gifts of money in white envelopes to the bride.

Eggs, which represent fertility and righteousness in Islam, are often given to the couple as symbolic gifts. The bride and groom may be handed eggs and showered with rice, candy, and dried fruit as they leave the reception.

In some of the Greek islands, the wedding ceremony ends with honey and walnuts offered to the bride and groom from silver spoons. Walnuts are chosen because they break into four parts, symbolizing the bride, the groom, and their two families.